The wedding is one of the most important days in our lives. It is a new stage in life, new hopes, and expectations. The whole life is divided into before and after. A person tries to do everything in the right way and to start from the beginning.
The date of the wedding, according to numerological laws and principles, determines the future and how the couple’s family life will develop. Therefore, choosing the most successful and suitable day for a wedding celebration is a very significant step towards the creation of a happy family. If you are going to get married, you can refer to numerology: choose the wedding date in advance, which numerological code will most fully meet your ideas about the ideal marital relations.
Numbers that indicate problems in a search of the lifetime partner
Most people have no idea that the difficulties in the personal life may be the result of certain numbers’ influence. If to believe the observations of numerology science, such numbers as 3,6,8,9 can be crucial if there are found in the birthdate. How to know that you are unlucky to have one of the mentioned numbers? It is really easy: just get the single unit by adding the number of dates, month and year.
For example, if you have been born on the 27th of June 1958, your numbers will be 9-6-5. One more example: the 8th of July 1952 will look like this: 8-7-8 if you get the single digit numbers. As you can notice, the numbers 3,6,8 can be found in the birth dates’ examples. Number 8 may mean that there is a possibility of the late marriage.
According to the statistics, about 60-70% of cases where the above-mentioned numbers appear, show that people who finally married don’t have an easy family life. Certain marital problems are common for such couples.
Numbers, which are not favorable for marriage
If couples have numbers 4,5,8 in their marriage dates, they may expect to face marital problems.
Number 4: No money no love
Couples married on the 4th date or the date where a combination of numbers is 4, for example, 13, 22, 31 are going to suffer from financial problems, which will be the reason of separation. According to numerology, the lack of money will have the permanent character.
Number 5: No understanding – no happy life
Number 5 as the wedding date, or the combination of numbers, which sum is 5 after getting a single unit (14, 23), indicates problems because of selfishness. Partners are going to break up because they will lack mutual understanding, which is the basis of the happy family life.
Number 8: Horrible Separation
If there are number 8 or numbers of marriage dates, which create a single unit 8 (17, 26), then there is a risk of suffering from separation much more compared to the previous numbers. Number 8 is the most horrible date to choose as this choice may result in the separation because of the death of one of the partners or even both, mental or physical torture or other awful things.
According to the observations, first only numbers 4,5,8 were unlucky ones but then it turned out that the combinations, which result in these numbers have the same bad influence on the married life. Moreover, the reason of separation varies from number to number. That’s why it is recommended to avoid these numbers not to face any kind of marital problems. Numerology says that the guarantee of a successful marriage is a choice of a lifetime partner taking into account the birth number. The key to happy marriage is good vibrations as bad vibrations lead to bad marriage.
Knowledge About Birth Day Number is the Key to Successful Marriage
Birth Number 1 (1,10,19,28)
Character traits, corresponding to the birthday number 1, adequately affect the choice of partner for family life. The leader needs a partner who will follow him. That is, an intelligent, capable, competent and independent person, ready, however, to follow you without reasoning. And – only voluntarily.
Your life will never be measured and calm. You have a fascinated nature and love variety. You often change direction and mode of action under the influence of circumstances. And your partner should be ready for this. Otherwise, there will necessarily be a day when you have to choose between the family and the business of your life.
As for love and sex, then these people at a fairly early age have a lot of connections. As a rule, it is very difficult for them to choose one partner. They are attracted to representatives of the opposite sex, seriously related to life and marriage. Such people are mostly sexual. They aspire to leadership in family relations. Many of them do not understand that marriage or another partnership involves an alliance of equals, not only in bed but also outside it. They usually become loving parents and are the main ones in the family. They are especially worried about preserving the family as a dynasty. In the event of an unsuccessful marriage, they may initiate a divorce.
People with birthday number 1 have good chances with those who have the following birthday dates: the period between 21st July-2-the August, 21st November-20th December, 21st March-20th April. Love relations are possible with partners who have numbers 1,4,5,7 and their multiples. People with the number 4 will make perfect matches for number 1 as they will follow them in everything and never forsake. The same can be said about people with number 8, who will be ready for everything to make number 1 happy. If you haven’t met people with these lucky numbers, there is still a choice between 3, 5 and 6. According to numerology observations, marriages with the people having these numbers are also going to be happy. However, normal married life will not always mean real love between partners.
Husband with birth number 1
A man with the birthday number 1 is going to be a good husband who will love his family. Generosity is one of his main features. However, he wants everyone to follow and obey him.
Wife with birth number 1
A woman with number 1 has a passionate nature. She needs a romantic man who will have the same temperament. A woman with number 1 is an attractive personality who always has many people around her.
It is not recommended to marry a person with the same birthday number as the union of two leaders isn’t going to be successful. The marriage will be unhappy because of difficulties to understand each other. Nobody will want to compromise. Remember that if you marry people with 7 and 9, you may expect separation and even divorce because of financial problems and many other issues, which arise because of the lack of understanding between the partners.
Birth Number 2 (2,11,20,29)
Number 2 is sensitive and sociable. Capable of giving things shape, embodying thoughts and images into reality they have developed intuition, the ability to “feel” other people. This sensitivity can cause increased emotionality and make them defenseless, insecure. Sometimes this also helps them to find harmony in their relations and to settle differences between people. They prefer peaceful resolution of conflict situations and are capable of cooperation. They can be good partners. They are trustful, modest and kind. They radiate warmth and tenderness and expect the same from those they love.
They strive for a quiet home atmosphere. They are affected by the surrounding emotional background. There may be an uncertainty in the life position, sometimes it is difficult for them to make the right choice. Unintentional outbursts of emotion or depression occur. There may show suspiciousness and subconscious fears. Throughout life, they are in search of the “golden mean” and find a suitable match by trial and error. In most cases, they are stable in a relationship.
Best lifetime partners for them are those who were born from the 21st of October to 20th November, 19th February-20th March as well as those who have numbers 2,4,6 as their birthday numbers.
A perfect match is a person with number 7. People with 2 and 7 may expect a successful marriage based on love and strong attraction. Such partners will be rich in all senses of this word.
People with 3 and 6 can be partners for marriage as well. However, if a wife has numbers 6,15,24 it is not very good for a husband as she is likely to give preference to the richer man.
Number 2 can marry those with numbers 4 and 8. This union will not be as ideal as with 7 and not as good as with 3 or 6. Be ready to be governed by people with 4 and 8, which number 2 won’t like.
Husband with birth number 2
One type of man number 2 is going to be the boss in his own family while the other type is going to be passive. There are men who are marrying because of financial stability. However, men with number 2 are loving by their nature.
Wife with birth number 2
There is no need to doubt that a wife with number 2 is able to cheat on you. She is devoted and has a loving heart. However, there is one thing that should be taken into account- her mood may change quite often. A husband of such wife will not be disturbed much but number 2 wife will do the planned things without an approval of her husband. Women having birthday number 2 can’t be called perfect housewives as they don’t spend much time in the kitchen.
Don’t marry a person with number 1 as the marriage will last not long due to the fact that number 1 will try to be a leader in such relations. Separation maybe not the worst thing that can happen to such spouses as number 1 is able to file false accusations and even send to jail the person with number 2. People born on the 2d may have some sex scandals in their life. That’s why it is recommended to take care of your reputation.
Birthday Number 3 (3, 12, 21, 30)
The desire for self-expression and optimism distinguish these people. Possess courage, passion, independence of spirit, charm. Very sociable, at the first opportunity, they hurry to express their opinion, often not very tactful. They do not know the fear, either physical or moral. They have great energy, mental and physical. They are curious and versatile, they are interested in a variety of subjects. Like trying everything new. They are capable to be engaged in several affairs at once. They give themselves to their beloved completely.
They do not like to puzzle over the problems, believing that life will put everything in its place. They quickly adapt to any situation, trying to learn as much as possible in life. Any experience is considered a boon, believing that even troubles are a useful life lesson. They are able to create favorable opportunities for themselves in personal relationships as well.
With the help of their energy and quick mind, they can achieve a great deal when they learn self-control, self-discipline, and concentration of energy in one direction. Their partners should be gentle and complaisant if they want to keep the passing affection of the spouse. Under no circumstances should they seek equality. Number 3 should be the leader. No one should encroach on his freedom or try to steal his fire. Relationships can be good when the partner agrees to settle for second place.
People with number 3 are compatible with those having their birthdays in the following periods: 21st June-20th July, 21st October-20th November. People who were born in the mentioned period may become good partners. Natural attraction is possible with those having 2,3,6,9. This means that it is better to look for a lifetime partner choosing among those born within the period mentioned above or those who have the birthday numbers, which have already been discussed.
It doesn’t matter if a person born on the 3d or his life path number calculated by adding the date, month and year are 3. The marriage of 3 and 3 will be successful. The same can be told about people with 9, who have also great chances to make number 3 happy.
Good matches for 3 are considered people with numbers 2,11,20, 29. It means that 2 can be the birth date or 2 may be the single unit calculated according to the life path number formula. Such marriages are going to be successful.
Husband with birth number 3:
Men with number 3 usually marry quite early. They are looking for a woman to be proud of. She must be a combination of beauty, witty mind, intelligence, good manners. Good matches will be women with number 3 and 6. Husband with number 3 wants all his wishes to be satisfied without a delay.
Wife with birth number 3
A woman with number 3 can become a perfect choice for a man as she is interested in his work and can be a real partner in everything. She follows a healthy lifestyle and enjoys her duties as a housewife. She loves kids and will be a good mom.
It is better to avoid marriages with people having 8, 17, 26 birth dates. It refers to both single numbers and life path numbers. People having 8 as their single unit number aren’t able to contribute to the family happiness of those having 3. Take into account that people with 4 can’t be the suitable matches as they are real chatterboxes when people with number 3 aren’t so talkative. One number to avoid is 7. In case of meeting a person born on the 7th number, 3 will not be able to reach financial stability. Numbers 1 and 5 are also not the best choices for 3.
Birth Number 4 (4,13, 22, 31)
A resolute, stubborn character and practical, sensible mind determine such people. In any sphere of life, they show great discretion and sanity. They are disciplined, responsible, take their duties seriously. They have stable views. They set themselves only realistic goals and work hard to achieve them. Sometimes they are ready to go to one goal all their lives. They work hard to create their financial security. They like stability regarding work and personal matters. The most comfortable feel having a long-term perspective.
They love their family and are good spouses. Despite this, they are not too emotional and are not inclined to show their feelings. Very rational, they rely only on themselves, do not like to depend on their partner. The order and good organization of the affairs give stability to their lives. They like to plan and set stage-by-stage goals. Surrounding people, especially relatives and close people may rely on them. They emanate confidence and reliability. They need to learn how to work in moderation, to feel the joys of life, to be more flexible in life situations.
Best matches for number 4 are those people whose birthdays were in the period within 19th February – 20th March, 21st October-20th November. Those who have 1,2,4,7 and 8 are also able to become good matches. The married life of people with number 4 is going to be quite happy and full of kids’ laughter.
Husband with birth number 4
A kind man with a loving heart will be the perfect husband. Both generous and passionate he will be able to find a decent wife. His wife should be intelligent and smart. A man with number 4 wants everything to be according to his wishes.
Wife with birth number 4
An attractive woman with birthday number 4 seems to have an ideal taste of style. She likes to dress well and likes all beautiful things around her. Sometimes a lady number 4 is a bit cruel. She wants everybody to act as she wants. Best matches will be men with number 1 and 2.
The ideal lifetime partner is considered to be number 1 able to make any sacrifice for the spouse with number 4. According to the numerology observations, life with either 1 or 8 will be the dream for number 4 as best lovers for this number are definitely 1 and 8.
Birth Number 5 (5, 14, 23)
Endowed with a sharp mind, optimism, and generosity they are looking for equal partners. They are accompanied by luck, which always comes to the rescue in difficult moments of life. Very sociable and, in society, they can express themselves in the best possible way, to feel their own importance. They have rich creative imagination and numerous abilities, which will be of use in the married life.
Such partners can offer acceptable practical solutions for most problems, both their own and others. Cheerfulness, charm, natural humor attracts the opposite sex.
A wide range of interests, the ability to communicate with people of different social status make them welcome guests in any society. Their views differ in idealism and breadth. They are fearless in thought and expression. A quick mind allows them to jump instantly from one subject to another in a conversation. For them, life is a fascinating experiment, and they want to experience as much as possible. They always clearly realize what they are aiming at, and they do not hesitate to achieve the goal. They feel trapped if life ceases to be diverse and exciting. Then they can become bothersome and restless. They are inclined to irresponsibility, and therefore they need to cultivate self-discipline and decency. They are impatient and impulsive. They love everything new and unusual, they need partners who also like traveling and prefer adventurous lifestyle.
Best matches for people with birthday number 5 are those born within the period: from 21st September-20th October, 21st January-20th February. Moreover, good chances are with 1,5,7,8.
Take into account that if you marry a person with the same number 5, you are unlikely to have kids.
Married life will be happy with people who have number 9. Marriages with number 1 are possible but there is one problem: 1 will be the leader in your relations. If your partner was born on the 3d, then you may have no doubts and marry him or her as the marriage is going to be successful. You will feel comfortable with each other.
Husband with birth number 5
The man born on the 5th is the best choice as he was created for a family life. He loves his wife and kids. The priority is his family and he always tries to do his best to satisfy all their needs and wants. Happy married life is what he may expect is he chooses the suitable life partner.
Wife with birth number 5
A good housewife who likes spending time with her family. She has many hobbies and interests. Being busy with different activities she always finds time for her beloved husband and children.
If you are looking for the partner who will help you improve your financial situation and support business ideas, then number 6 is the most reasonable choice. One number for a good marriage is 9.
Birthday Number 6 (6, 15, 24)
People who were born on the 6th day of the month have good chances to create a family with those whose birthday numbers are 2,3,6,9 as well as people who were born in the period between 21st August-20th September, 21st December-20th January.
Don’t be surprised if a person with the birth number 6 will be able to make you fall in love deeply as these partners attract people with number 6. The marriage can be strong but the chances to have kids are 50/50. It will depend on how strong is the life number. Those who have partnered with number 6 should take into account that such people like everything beautiful and to provide them with all they want you to need to have financial stability. In case you meet someone with number 5, you are lucky as this person will support you in everything.
Husband with birth number 6
Such a man is indispensable, hardworking and reliable. Strives for a stable relationship. He loves, selflessly giving himself up to feelings. He is easy to wound, prefers to give more than to take. He sees the advantages and disadvantages of both the partner himself and the prospects of his relations with him. Most fully his emotions are expressed in the field of relationships, and he seeks to find a true companion who understands him.
If he is respected as a person, he feels confident, otherwise, he changes his partner. Very attached to his mother, and his wife has to win for himself a place in his life. He does not like innovations, he observes many conventions. Has a sharpened intuition. Home and family – the main thing for him.
Wife with birth number 6
Outwardly, she seems unflappable, cold and even alienated, but underneath there is sensuality and sexuality. In her youth, she is often naive, sentimental and shy. Becoming an adult becomes judicious. Dreamy has a rich imagination and high intuition. Can be soft, timid, modest or seductive, coquettish, playful. Its unpredictability makes it particularly attractive.
As a wife, she can be quick-tempered and touchy. She wants security, understanding, and care. Although she is able to withstand any storms of life. Marriage and children are her main priorities. Such a woman chooses a husband, equal in social position and with similar interests.
In case a person has number 6 as his date of birth and the life path number, the best matches will be those having 1,4,9. According to the numerology science, you shouldn’t ignore these recommendations, otherwise, the married life with people having other birthday numbers is going to be unhappy. A happy life is also impossible for spouses having 6 and 7 numbers respectively. Avoid relations with people number 8 as they will bring you only misfortunes.
Birthday Number 7 (7, 16, 28)
One of the most important is the number 7 in numerology. This number is under the auspices of the most extraordinary planet in the solar system – the planet Saturn. And therefore it is not surprising that the people who were born under this number differ in their original worldview, uncontrollable creative thinking, and nontrivial judgments.
They are self-sufficient and independent personalities who do not pay any attention to the opinion of others and try to follow their own line in life, which is the reason for difficulties to create strong relations.
People born on the 7th or those who have 7 as their life path number are usually not happy in their married life due to the fact that they find partners who don’t suit them. According to the numerology, birth number 7 means some Divine life but not the married one. Unfortunately, such people haven’t been created for marriage at all. They have other purposes in life. Usually, women with number 7 lack the usual feminine charms and don’t attract men much.
However, it doesn’t mean that people number 7 has no chances to find their match. Among the possible partners are people with number 2 who are naturally attracted to 7. Such union won’t be easy as some misunderstandings will take place but in general, the family life is going to be happy. One more possible partner is number 4. The married life with a person whose life path number or birthday number is 4 may become a good choice for a person with number 7.
It is possible to find a partner who was born in the period from the 21st of October to 20th of November, from 19th of February to 20th of March. Possible attraction is between 7 and 7 numbers.
Numbers that should be avoided are 1, 5, 8.
Husband with Birth Number 7
The man with number 7 is really a good choice as he is very understanding. He will always share everything with his beloved. He loves active rest and prefers spending weekends together with his wife and kids.
Wife with birth number 7
The mood of a woman with birthday number 7 changes really quickly. It is difficult to predict her behavior sometimes. She wants her man to be always near and support her in everything.
The number 7 is a very good number, possessing mysterious forces. These people are endowed with intuitive knowledge of their fellowmen, very creative and inventive. The only drawback is the love of change that can take them to the extreme. They need to be sure that the change they want is really reasonable: otherwise, they can harm themselves and stay lonely.
Birthday Number 8 (8, 17, 26)
People of number 8 are very strong characters, capable of deep emotional affection, but they not often turn out to be faithful, because they are difficult to understand and love. They can seem cold, being really heartfelt, because they can not show their feelings. They can express feelings only with the actions that those around them usually misunderstand. They are capable of a great sacrifice, and they are often exploited by those to which they are attached. This brings them great misfortune, for if they fall in love, they do not deny the object of their love in anything and as a result give more than they receive. They have a magnetic personality and are very attractive to the opposite sex. They have a large sexual power and activity, but also possessing spiritual inclinations, they seek a spiritual connection with a partner, otherwise, the relationship will not last. The partner should be just as strong because without receiving satisfaction, such people are looking for someone else. They need both, equally, and so they rarely find a suitable partner.
A rare person can live in harmony with them. Such a person should have a deep understanding and ability to respect the very individual nature of his partner. These people need complete freedom, for independence is the main thing for them. Those who live next to them should maintain spiritual communication, not to mention the physical side. It can be said that only a few or none at all can fully satisfy a person born on the 8th. Therefore, they are looking for a lifetime for a couple and very rarely find it. The only suitable option is the same person.
Best possible matches are people born on 4th and 8th. The marriages with the mentioned numbers promise to be happy. How your marriage will be successful will depend on the date of marriage as well. It is better to avoid relations with people having such numbers as 2, 7, 9 as the marriages with them are going to be unhappy.
Choose your partner taking into account the period he or she was born: 21st of April-20th of May, 21st August-20th September.
Husband with birth number 8:
Men born on the 8th aren’t sure that they need get married. They are quite satisfied with their loneliness. Husband can be a bit strict sometimes as he doesn’t like when a wife has modern clothes or adopt new views. He likes devoting himself to occult subjects and wants a partner who will be interested in the same things.
Wife with birth number 8
A woman with number 8 isn’t very feminine, however, they take care of cozy home always. She always gives preference to family interests. Women who were born on 8th are more like men in their systematic way of doing everything. Such women are great moms who are ready for any sacrifices. However, most women born on 8th aren’t happy in their married life.
To be happy in marriage, people who have number 8 can change their name to have number 5. In this case, the chances to marry successfully increase much. It is possible to marry anyone, except people with birthday number 9.
Birthday number 9 (9, 18, 27)
A person whose birthday is 9 always strives to establish relations with people who are educated and intelligent, giving preference to creative personalities whose interests lie in the field of culture and art. The main thing is that 9 does not pass with them to the mentoring tone, teaching and imposing his beliefs. Creative people will not tolerate this. But, obeying the vibration of the ninth, the person born on this date always tries to please his chosen one in everything, and when he is praised, he/she feels in the seventh heaven.
As a rule, such sensitivity and caring are mutual in pairs, where one of the partners is the owner of a nine. But even if the person with the number 9 in return does not receive gratitude for his noble deeds, generosity and disinterested help, let him not be in a hurry to be disappointed in his partner. Being able to do good without relying on reward, it’s just in the spirit of all the owners of the number 9 on their birthday. Providence always gives them a hundredfold, it is only these people who learn how to gratefully accept the numerous gifts of destiny.
Among the best matches for 9 is number 3. Such people will be always helpful supporting all ideas of 9. It is also possible to marry people born on 6th as the life path number or birthday number. These people are good choices if 9 wants to become wealthier. It will be wise to choose partners born in the period within the period 21st July-20th of August and 21st November – 20th December. Good matches are those having 3,6,9.
Those whom you should avoid have numbers 2 and 7. Such marriages aren’t going to be successful as well as people born on the 1st.
Husband with birth number 9
A young man with a birthday number 9 has excellent compatibility with the fair sex. He is sociable and amorous, but most of all the values high spirituality in the lady he chooses as a wife.
Men born on the 9th are passionate and enthusiastic. They need a partner who will realize all your sexual desires. People with birthday number 9 usually have a good family and cozy house. As a husband, a man with number 9 wants to have a perfect wife who will be able to satisfy all his needs and wants both mentally and physically.
Wife with birth number 9
Unlike many, girls with number 9 do not see the primary meaning of life in a successful marriage. Because of the overestimated level in the characteristics of a partner, waiting for romantic courtship and chivalrous deeds can long remain single. If a woman of number 9 manages to arrange her personal life, she will try to do everything possible for a long-term alliance. If the spouse is engaged in business, she skillfully combines the roles of wife and business assistant.
A woman with number 9 is going to become an ideal wife with the right husband. She will be able to support husband’s ideas and show interest in his business. She will create a cozy home and love kids much. Such a woman will also be able to make her man wealthier thanks to her witty mind.
People born on 9th have a tendency to unnecessary quarrels and jealousy. That’s why it is necessary to learn how to control destructive emotions.
Tips How to Enjoy Harmonious Relations Following Ancient Indian Philosophy Vastu
According to ancient Indian philosophy Vastu (this is the doctrine of the organization of space in harmony with the energy of the sun and other planets), your house will contribute to your happy family life, if properly arranged.
- When choosing an apartment, pay attention to its overall shape. It is desirable that the housing was a regular rectangular or square shape, where all four directions of the world would be present. Then the energy in the room will move according to natural laws and each sector can be harmonized.
- According to Vastu theory, the north-west sector is responsible for relations, the west is responsible for ordering the house and gaining knowledge, the southwest for implementing plans and protection from troubles, the south for vitality and efficiency, the southeast for the feminine and beauty, the east for health, the northeast for children, luck and prosperity, the north for money, business and intellect.
- The main sector in the house is the north-east. It is believed that through it the luck comes to you – sattva, that is, a living, creative energy. Therefore it is important that this part of the apartment or house is maximally open, not cluttered with furniture and that there is no toilet. It is ideal that there was a window or door. But the south and west side, on the contrary, it is better to close, so you block the influence of the destructive energy (you can, for example, put in this part the focus – it will absorb negative energy).
- Harmonize the north-western sector, which is responsible for relations. The north-west is under the control of God Vayu, the lord of the winds. Therefore, in the northwest sector, high trees, heavy objects and pieces of furniture are not recommended. A good northwest Vastu greatly improves relations, hospitality, and harmony at the social level of a person’s realization. The north-western sector is most favorable for the reception and accommodation of guests. Colors of the north-west – milky white, pearl, silver.
- The relationship between husband and wife is the interaction of male and female energy. That is why for conjugal relationships it is very important to balance the male and female energies in the house.
- Conduct harmonization in the marital bedroom, in particular, pay attention to its location in the house. The worst location for a married couple in the southeast sector. The best is south-west.
- A kitchen is a sacred place, controlled by the elements of fire. For her, the ideal place is in the southeast. Never leave unwashed dishes, do not put pets into the kitchen and take out garbage at night (but not later than eight o’clock in the evening). According to Vastu, it is better to cook yourself, but you cannot do it in a bad mood.
Vastu suggests that the house is a living being, therefore it is necessary to take care of it as a member of the family. So one can raise the level of prana – the life energy and gain additional potential for improving karma. And yes, the main duty to arrange to the house is on the woman. Men are ascetic by nature and do not have much power over the home. But the woman is responsible for the creation of the cozy house.
Top-8 Secrets of Happy Marriage
The beginning of a life together is a serious step for each couple. This period can be compared to an adventure that opens new impressions and emotions in any person, and also gives various reasons for reflection. Despite all the positivity of this process, many couples experience serious difficulties. This is not surprising, because the habitual way of life has to be changed. Is there a secret of successful relationships? Who can guarantee that everything will be fine after you started living together and you will be happy together? Let’s try to understand these issues and share some secrets that will help make your relationship successful and stronger.
Be realistic about your expectations regarding marriage
Romanticism is wonderful, and seeing the best in your spouse is the right way to keep love and intimacy. However, you are going to be together for many years, so you need to be able to turn a blind eye to some of the imperfections of the spouse. In the first impulses of passion, the object of our romantic attention may seem to be devoid of shortcomings, but later we find hidden weaknesses. At this point in order to continue the marriage, we need to look further and deeper, see what is “behind” the flaws and weaknesses of the partner, after all, no one is perfect. The expectations that everything will be easy and that everything will always be “perfect” lead only to disappointment. Idealize your spouse as soon as you can, but remember that he / she is only a person.
“Forgive” should not be the most difficult word to pronounce
Surveys of married people show that people who are happy in a marriage are twice as likely to be willing to apologize to their partner than divorced or single. Polls also show that the probability of asking for forgiveness is 25% higher in happy couples, even when one of the spouses feels that it is only partially to blame. The more difficult it is for the divorced and lonely people to apologize or make a conciliatory gesture, the more chances they have to remain alone.
Love and passion can join the couple, but compromise and respect support this unity. Learn to say “I’m sorry”.
Be aware of the factors that can destroy your relationship
There are 4 factors that destroy relationships. They are called “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” Here they are:
The manner of dealing, grimaces of displeasure, curses, and insults – in general, you show by your behavior that the partner disgusts you – this is “contempt”. If all this is regularly repeated in the initial phase of disagreements, then until the end of the relationship there are only a few days left. Women who look contemptuously at the time when their husband says something is six times more likely to divorce in two years;
“Well, what have you done to me? Do not look at me like that! What do you want from me?!” “But I just asked if you want some tea!” Another important predictor of a possible collapse of relations is “exceeding the limits of necessary defense.” If someone starts yelling, as soon as the partner offers something to discuss if it seems to him that he is threatened or attacked by him, and if this happens regularly – in a crisis relationship. Defensive position blocks communication and separates spouses;
Do not criticize, but be sure to say compliments
Criticizing each other’s spouses risk so damaging their relationship that it will be impossible to “repair” them later … This does not mean that you cannot express your displeasure if your spouse grieves you, but criticism is much more destructive than making claims.
When you criticize, then the attack goes to the person as a whole (even if you did not want this). Discontent is directed only at a single act and does not affect the person’s personality.
Some people believe that constantly pointing out the shortcomings of a partner, they “make him better”. But even with good intentions, the consequences will not be good. If you criticize your spouse in public, it is humiliating (for both), but when you say something nice about him or her in the company, it will be helpful.
People in a happy marriage feel that they are appreciated, loved and respected. Remind your spouse about his talents, strengths, and what you particularly like about them. No one likes to feel under the constant fire of criticism.
Self-abolition or “opposition”
Emotional separation of one of the spouses when the partner expresses his claims – another predictor of an early break in relations. Women are more critical, men are more prone to self-elimination. Men by nature are not able to cope with strong emotional stress, women have a clear advantage. Therefore, men instinctively try to avoid quarrels and strong irritation and erect protective walls around themselves.
Be careful while discussing some topics in marriage
Young spouses often want to “dig deeper”, learn “all secrets”, be completely open to each other and “discuss everything”. But the study of the experience of elderly couples who have been happy in marriage for decades shows that these couples often try to ignore negative emotions. These people also prefer not to pay much attention to their feelings about the relationship, unless they consider something absolutely necessary. This “threshold” here is much higher than in young couples. Agree with the claim and know what it is worth keeping away – one of the key skills in the relationship.
Work on problems together
Another key factor that helps to maintain relations in case of disagreement is the habit of changing the topic when the discussion “gets off course.” This rapid “switching” reduces the number of negative emotions. Disagreements should be a “one-time special offer,” and not a long series. BTW, here is a good information about analysing bad habits using the pythagoras square.
Laugh together more often
Regular memories of romantic times in the past and their mention in conversations (” Remember how we had fun …”) – this is a very powerful way to maintain a spiritual connection. But regularly laughing together is an even more powerful way. According to recent studies, couples who laugh together and regularly recall funny cases tend to be much more satisfied with their relationship. Create a “pantry for fun” and often go there. Without fun, the marriage withers like a flower without water.
Follow the rule: 5 “good things” on one “bad”
For a stable marriage, you need five “good” for one “bad”. “Good” – it can be a warm embrace, and a day, pleasantly spent together, and discussion of an interesting film, in general, something positive. “Bad” is a quarrel, a disagreement or a disappointment. So make an effort to comply with rule 5/1.
Learn more about the tastes of your spouse
The better you know the spouse’s tastes, his / her aspirations, who they like and do not like from colleagues at work and so on, the higher the quality of your “love union”. Knowing the details of the partner’s external and internal life (while allowing some personal space) strengthens your connection.
Living in a happy marriage is the best way to ensure the satisfaction of your life for each of you. Follow these tips and you will see how your married life is becoming the one you have always dreamt about.